I was sitting here realizing that I haven't posted something about my testimony in awhile and I feel like that is something I should be doing. So why haven't I posted such a post lately?
To be honest, I temporarily forgot what matters most. School has been quite a challenge for the first few weeks (far more challenging than I expected). It is incredibly time-consuming right now while I'm trying to get the hang of the schedule and how to balance it in my life. It has thrown me for a loop (along with getting sick and lots of other changes that have happened in the past few weeks).
So what did I do in order to try to compensate for "running too fast"? Regrettably, I dropped what mattered most. I let my faith "dry up."
In the past, I have remembered that in times of trial, you stop and focus on the Savior.
For some reason, this time around, I cut my scripture study down to .5 minutes/day in order to "get more sleep" and I cut out FHE because I "needed" to fit in a workout, and I was late to institute because I had "no other time to do my homework."
How did that work out for me? Well, the more I tried to catch up on sleep instead of read my scriptures, the more tired I felt. The more I cut out church responsibilities, the longer my schoolwork seemed to take.
Needless to say, it did not work at all!! Shocking?! - Nope. But rather, quite expected. I let the little things that matter most slip from my days and I suffered the consequences of such a poor choice.
Then all the EFY kids showed up on campus and all I really wanted to do was take a break from school and go get paid to read my scriptures for an entire week. (Oh how I wish I was able to be a counselor this year!!) But I can't. I can't drop school. I have to learn how to balance all of it while still maintaining the things that matter most.
I am far from perfect. I am still learning. I have a lot of learning left to do. And I am so thankful for Christ's atonement that lets me try again. With realization of my mistake, I spent a good few hours out at Lake Mary last night reminding myself of what matters most and made a new commitment to truly read and study the scriptures, to attend FHE and institute and to never forget to put God first.
Needless to say, today was a much better day!
"It's not so much the major events as the small day-to-day decisions that map the course of our living." - President Hinckley
