Status: Unemployed

Time to be very open...

I graduated from high school in 2007.  3 years later, in 2010, I graduated from ASU with my Bachelors degree.  I immediately started graduate school and 2 years after ASU graduation (this year), I graduated with my Masters degree.

I haven't wasted any time in gaining my education.  (It sure helped that I knew what I wanted when I was 14 years old.)  I never took a semester with less than 16 credits in undergrad and in grad school I doubled up on electives to save on tuition costs.

I worked so hard at gaining my education.  I didn't always put in 100% effort (there are days where you feel as if it never will end and you can't put in any more effort), but it was definitely at the top of my priority lists right there with family and my faith.

I have always wanted to work hard at it, finish quickly, and become proficient, so that

1. I could help/support my husband through his schooling (ask any of my friends, since I was a sophomore in high school, I was "getting my masters so I could put my husband through college"). 
2. I could pay it forward: my brothers both needed speech therapy and their therapists had a huge impact on who they have become.  I want to pass that on to other families to help their children and siblings have the ability to communicate too!  

Well, now the time has come.  I have finished my schooling and I have all that I need to be a SLP.  I have a husband that is still in school and I have an overload of enthusiasm in my field that makes me anxious to help others.

Problem: there are NO job openings within 30 min of Provo in any direction.  I look nearly every day!

What does that make me?  UNEMPLOYED

A month ago, I went to a doctors appointment.  I had to fill out my new info.  The form had me declare my status: Employed, Student, Unemployed.  I about threw up as I marked unemployed.

When we were filling out our information for our new ward a couple weeks ago, Jared filled out all his schooling info and his work info.  I fought to hold back tears as I wrote N/A on both.

I have had a job EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE since I was 15 years old.  

Now, I have a Master's degree 

and I am 

unemployed. 

I have struggled with this.  

It has been a very humbling experience!  

Every time someone asks how the job hunt is going, I feel as if I'm being punched in the stomach.  I have had to fight the feelings of inadequacy that have come with such questionings.  I have even had to fight the "why" questions as I say my prayers: the "why has my education worked out flawlessly only to come to a dead end?" or "we really need to start saving up for our future family and I have done ALL I can to be able to do that. Why isn't that righteous desire granted?"  I'll admit, I think the "why" questions have slipped a few times in my discouragement.

I still don't why.

BUT,

I have learned a few things through this trial.

1. Heavenly Father has His own time table.   
2. Heavenly Father's plan is better than our plan! 
3. Heavenly Father has answers that dispel all the "why" questions, but He wants us to learn to TRUST Him.  It is in these situations that we build faith. 

(If only I could just get these lessons down for good, I wouldn't have to keep having "opportunities" to learn them over and over again.)

I listened to Elder Busche's mini talk on YouTube.  If you haven't seen it, watch it.  I practically have it memorized I've listened to it so much over the last year.  A statement he makes at the very end has stuck out in my mind as I have worried and wondered about my work status.

He says,
"When you are compelled to give up something or when things that are dear to you are withdrawn from you, know that this is your lesson to be learned right now.  But know also that, as you are learning this lesson, God wants to give you something better."

I know that Heavenly Father is watching over us.  I know that He hears and answers our prayers: on His own time table, in His own way, in His perfect way.  I know that He knows of our needs and is concerned about us.  He knows the desires of our hearts.  He wants us to be happy.  He wants us to be successful and to be self-sufficient.  And ultimately, our lessons here on earth are to teach us to be like Him.

So I have looked for blessings that have come from this experience, and there are MANY!!

1. I was able to plan a wedding, split my time between 2 states, and not have any ties to school or a job that would've kept me from fully enjoying and experiencing this great time in my life.  Honestly, I have not had a break from school/work ever before.  What a blessing that I was able to focus solely on my marriage!!
2. I am taking in every moment I can to enjoy being only a wife.  I have all the time in the world to make Jared breakfast, pack his lunches, and enjoy cooking dinner.  I have had time to figure out all this name-change stuff, and adjust to living in a new place.  When will that EVER be the case again?! - Being only a wife?! - never.
3. When Jared has a break in school, I ride my bike down there and eat lunch or workout with him.  The second he gets home from school/work, we can spend time just enjoying each other instead of throwing in late night loads of laundry or cleaning bathrooms.  That won't be the case when I have a job either.

So for now, I am truly enjoying the tender mercies of God each time I eat lunch with Jared or each time I start dinner early enough to eat at a reasonable time!  I know that these days won't last forever.  I know that I will find a job.  I know that Heavenly Father values education and will help me find the job that will best bless our family.  Until then,  I have lessons to learn, faith to build, patience to develop, and humility to gather, and tender mercies to recognize and give thanks for!