Workouts and Watermelon

"With good health, we can be happier and more successful. Without it, we are curtailed in almost every way... Get the blood circulating, and give your major muscles a workout. An appropriate amount of time and effort spent in exercising will help you to be more effective in all other areas of your life." - Elder Joe J. Christensen

The week I moved up here, I ended up getting one major upper respiratory tract infection and it didn't go away!! It doesn't help that I made a few more trips down to the valley and back up (elevation changes are no good when you are sick). Last week, my roommate made me admit that I was sick and avoid cardio workouts for an entire week! Do you know how hard that is for me?!? It was torture! All I wanted was a good, sweaty, long, mind-clearing, out-of-breath workout!

Monday I was given the all-clear by my doctoral student roommate and today I got in my 3rd amazing workout of the week. We did the Insanity Video... and it was insane!! My legs will probably fall off tomorrow but no worries, I couldn't be any happier! I am sitting here eating watermelon after one of the hardest workouts of my life and LIFE IS WONDERFUL!! :)

NAU Challenge Course

I had to pay off my NAU card the other day on the North side of campus. (Don't even get me started on the fact that they do not accept Visa cards.) Driving around campus is nearly impossible and if, by chance, you make it to the other side without running into closed roads due to construction, you surely cannot find a place to park. Therefore, I rode my roommates bike. I love the weather here and I love that by the time I even get up our massive hill in our complex, my legs feel like they have done 100 squats and my lungs wonder what ever happen to oxygen.

Anyway, that is all beside the point. On my bike ride home, I passed by the NAU challenge course. What is it? Well, it's just that - a physical challenge course. They happened to be letting NAU students use it for free that day (typically it is only for students who register for the class). The guy told me they had a zip-line and my interest was sufficiently peaked. I rode home as fast as I could, dropped my backpack, changed into grungies, and grabbed my roommate. We ran back to check this thing out.

Whoa was I unprepared for what I was about to do. After signing our lives away, I stepped into a harness and strapped on a helmet and walked down to meet this "challenge." (Don't worry mom, I am still alive!) My roommate happens to be a daredevil and lives for adrenaline. I like the adrenaline too, but I was not expecting this! It was a blast though!!

Our first event was climbing up a totem pole. At the top, you had to stand up with both feet and then jump off. Of course you have someone belaying you, but really you just jump. They call it the leap of faith. The climbing part wasn't hard. Even standing up was quite easy (the people in front of me all fell before standing all the way up). Not even the height bothered me, but let me tell you, it took faith to leap off that thing onto nothing! My heart was racing!!

Next was the catwalk. No, it was not a runway! It was this...

the guy on the left is walking across the catwalk and the guy on the right is almost to the top of "the leap of faith." - this is the actual course we were on but we didn't get any pictures of ourselves! :(

I was not too afraid of walking across it, but once I got up there and the wind was blowing, I thought for sure I was going to fall right off. It took me a loooong time to get across. This is the only way you can get to the zip-line so I had to finish!! It was interesting to me - for those who wanted to ride the zip-line, but were afraid of heights, they blindfolded them and sent them across. Why? Because walking across it really isn't hard - it's the height that makes the task difficult. I was shocked to see this take place. It made me think about how focusing on our fears can make us loose sight of the final goal! It totally applies to the gospel - fear and faith cannot co-exist!

Once you make it across, you have to stand on the triangular platform while you wait for your turn. You are harnessed in up there but there is nothing to hold on to. It was nerve-racking. Once it was finally my turn for the zip-line, I got up there and realized, I have to jump off that platform! If you have ever been repelling, it is similar to that - the worst part is leaning over the getting started. But in this case, you lean over and then go FLYING 150 yards! Finally I just jumped backwards and did it! It was a BLAST!! I loved it! I even flipped myself upside-down on it!

We had the opportunity to try some slack-lining things and a partner slack-line challenge too before it closed. The point of the partner challenge was to build trust. It was cool how they applied all the events to life's lessons. It was SO much fun! I never came across things like this at ASU - one of the many reasons why I love it up here - there are so many free things to do up here!!

Domesticated

If you know even the slightest thing about me, you would know that I do not, absolutely cannot stand, really don't like... cooking! I don't look forward to cooking every night for the rest of my life and my philosophy to this point has been to hold off doing it as long as I possibly could. I did a fantastic job at that goal, but those glory days of having mom cook are, well, over! It's a very sad tragedy! Regardless, it's probably time for me to learn.

My roommate and I split dinners. So far, we have kept them simple and I have had many options to work with... but the other day, my roommate decided she was going to be a bit more brave and try cooking a pork loin in the crock-pot. I wasn't going to stop her. It was her turn to cook and it sounded wonderful to me. So we researched recipes and bought all the necessary items to have a wonderful pork loin with cooked carrots, mashed potatoes, and gravy. Then last minute she found out she was going to be in class all day the next day.

So what happened?!? She begged and encouraged me to make it. Um... remember how I have avoided all cooking up to this point. I know how to make mashed potatoes. That's it! Raw meat scares me and is not a cheap item to mess up on when you are on a college budget. It took a lot of prodding on her part, but I finally caved!

That night I placed the meat in yummy sauce and we marinated it (yeah, I just learned that this process happens in the fridge - you can laugh at my stupidity, I did too!) The next day, I seared the meat (also a first for me) and then placed it in the crock-pot with all the other items. Once it was finished, I made gravy (definitely a first!!) and had it all ready before my roommate even got home. The apartment smelled fantastic, and much to my surprise, it tasted fantastic! (The meat was kinda dry, but I am focusing on my success and not my perfectionist viewpoint!)

I am actually really glad my roommate ended up putting it all on me because I learned (hold on to your seats) that cooking isn't so bad! It was even kind of fun! I think I can even almost consider myself domesticated... well, at least I am getting there!! P.s. Thanks Amber and Jana for the apron!! It's not only incredibly stinkin' cute, it was a shirt saver!!

Overwhelmed

I don't think life has really sunk in until this week. (I'm sure this is something that will happen many more times in my lifetime!) I have grown up my entire life knowing that graduating from high school was no where near an option and that graduating from college with a Bachelors was what people do. So I did it too! My life has worked out pretty nicely and schooling has been something that I can honestly say has gone without any bumps along the way. Up to this point in my life, I have never really questioned what I was doing with my education. But this week was filled with firsts!!

I was working on a peer review essay the other night and could not find the information I needed anywhere! I worked on this (instead of being social) for about an hour just to end up empty-handed. I was so incredibly irritated!!! Then it hit me like a ton of bricks... What the heck am I doing in grad school?!? Why am I dishing out 7 years of hard-earned money to do something so impossibly hard?! Why did I say goodbye to every single person I know to move to a new place where I am a stranger?! Why did I willingly sign up to put myself through 2 more years of nail-biting tests, forever long papers, insomnia-curing textbooks, late nights of cramming, hours of homework, and mind-boggling theories?! I sat there on my couch all alone with school work ALL around me and stared at the wall as this realization hit me. I was overwhelmed!!

For a fleeting moment, I had the urge to pack up, throw in the towel, and go back home, but I know that isn't really even a possibility so I just sat there and let the overwhelming feeling get the best of me. Needless to say, I had a small breakdown. So what did I do?!? I gave up on the homework thing and went to sleep.

The next day didn't get any better. It seemed as if that little angel that is supposed to sit on my shoulder had taken a vacation and only the little shoulder devil was there to question what I was doing. He seemed to sit there and loom over me and my situation. Ugh! So I came home and called my mom. (What would I do without free family minutes and cell phones?! - Seriously!!) She listened like she always does and then gave the best "suck-it-up" pep talk to remind me of what I am doing here!

She reminded me that I am gaining an exceptional education. I am getting a degree so that I can help wonderful children who have challenges! I am gaining wonderful experiences making new friends and sharing the gospel. I am learning so much from living on my own - experiences I know that I need. I am doing exactly what I am supposed to!

Along with my mom's pep talk, I have received many other reminders since then! In institute class this week, we studied the first few chapters of Proverbs. They are all about gaining wisdom and knowledge and why it is so important. Then I watched Elder Holland's Mormon Message: Good Things to Come. In it he says,

"Don't give up... Don't you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead... You keep your chin up. It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come."

Then, one of our professors reminded us this week how many people applied for one of our seats in the program - about 185; yet, each of us were chosen for a reason to take one of the 19 seats. She reminded us that there will be days where we don't want to be here at school, but she told us to remember how those 166 others who didn't get in wished they were in school!!

I sit here today overwhelmed! This time, it is a good overwhelmed. I am so grateful for these reminders (aka tender mercies) from a loving Father in Heaven who wants me to realize why I am here. I am so blessed to have the opportunity to be in this graduate program! I honestly have nothing to complain about. Of course school is hard and expensive and even overwhelming at times, but it will all be worth it in the end! It is true, there are plenty of "good things to come."

I know today, better than before, that I am here for a reason. I am so much more determined to make sure I succeed. I am going to follow Elder Holland's advice: I am going to keep trying and never quit. So here's to graduate school! And now my free time is up - I am off to tackle that peer review essay... I think I am much more prepared this time! ;)

My Home Away from Home

I know a few of you have asked to see pictures of my new place. Moving in was a bit stressful seeing that we never actually saw the inside until move-in day, but it's even better than we imagined! We are loving it! Take a look...

Here is the living room. We have nothing on the walls... that's what happens when you are poor college students but we have two great couches and a tv - the important stuff! Thanks Dave and Kris! :)

Here is our kitchen and table. It's actually bigger than we imagined. We even have empty cupboards still! And we have quite a bit of counter space too! (Yes McKenzie, that is my board hanging on the wall!)
My bathroom is my absolute favorite part! It's way bigger than any bathroom I have ever had. Hopefully you can see the shower curtain through the mirror.
Finally, here is my room. It's practically the exact same as it was back in Mesa but that has actually helped it feel more like home here. I have two big bright windows to let lots of light in! That is my favorite part of the whole room.

I really am loving it here! It's fun to be off on my own and have all the new experiences that come from this opportunity. Right now, who wouldn't love living up here! In a few months when we are covered in that white stuff, I might change my mind. In the mean time, I am soaking it all up!

Girls Day with A

Last but surely not least, I went with A ice skating. She has the same secret love for ice skating that I do. Growing up, I always watched tons of ice skating movies and would faithfully watch olympic ice skating events. I love all of it. I love how graceful and elegant they look. Well, apparently A has the same love as me... because we had a blast! We raced, and spun, and twisted, and fell, and chased it other. You name it, we tried it!

We were there as long as we possibly could be. We tried many of the elegant tricks we see on tv but we were not nearly as elegant. It was a fun attempt though! I will not post the videos of our attempts - that would only embarrass me beyond what I am ok with! Haha! My favorite part - I forgot my jacket and so I ended up having to tough out the cold. No worries, it only prepared me for what I am currently living in. Yeah, I am already wearing jackets to school. I am a true wimp.

Anyway, A is the best! She is the greatest sister I could have ever asked for! She is so kind and one of the world's greatest friends. She loves to be active and involved. She is talented at about anything she tries - dancing, singing, diving, coloring, etc. She loves to sing around the house and help those around her. I love her and miss her so much! Thank goodness I still live pretty close so we can have girls' nights often. I love you SOOO much A!

Stuttering and Life's Lessons

I have an entire class dedicated to the topic of stuttering this semester. First off, I absolutely LOVE school. It is the first time I can honestly say that since probably 6th grade! I love what I learn about! I love my professors. I love that I am in a class of 19 and not a class of 191! I love that I can name the other people in my classes. I love it all!!

Anyway, I have a class all about stuttering. It is 5 hours long on Fridays. Today was my first day. We had homework due at the beginning of class and then discussed basic characteristics and conditions that a person who stutters may have. I have had enough speech classes to know quite a bit about the disorder and it was a wonderful review.

After our short 40 minute review, our professor listed 10 different stores, restaurants, and campus buildings on a board. She then broke us into groups of 2 and sent us out to an assigned place. We were assigned to go to our place and act as if we were a person who stutters while engaging with someone outside of our class. Our partner was to watch how the event took place without being obvious. We were given one hour to do it.

I walked out of class with this instant feeling of panic, anxiety, concern. What were people going to think of me? Would they laugh? Would they treat me as an idiot? Would they try to talk for me? Would they understand me? Would they think I was just acting dumb and blow me off? The point was to make them think we really had a stutter. I am NOT an actor. But off we went to the NAU bookstore to fulfill our assignment. It worked out nicely that I had to pay for a book anyway yet I didn't know where the billing office is. We walked into the bookstore and we started looking around as if we were shopping. I spent the next several minutes trying to compose how I would ask for directions to the billing office after stating that I needed to pay for my textbook.

Finally I knew I just had to do it before I over-thought it anymore than I already had, so I got in line and waited. I didn't want to do this. I didn't want to humiliate myself. I didn't understand why my professor would ever have us do this. Finally after what seemed like an hour, it was my turn. I walked up to the clerk with cautiousness written all over my face and stuttered my way through my question. The clerk stared at me as if she was shocked that I, a person with a stutter, would need a textbook. She then proceeded to give me the most detailed directions EVER as if I was retarded. I was embarrassed and unwilling to talk. I nodded my head in affirmation of her directions instead of speaking. I didn't want her to stare. I didn't want her to question me. I was uncomfortable. She treated me like a young, incompetent child.

As I walked away with the directions in my hand, it hit me like a TON of bricks. THAT is exactly how a person who stutters feels every time they anticipate opening their mouths. They worry. They fret. They build up anxiety. They don't want to be treated differently. They don't want to be treated as if they are retarded. They don't want to be pitied. They just want to be normal. I almost started crying right then and there. They are children of God just like you and me.

We got back to class and our professor immediately turned on a movie made by and for people who stutter. They stated how they have come to realize that everyone has concerns, challenges, and fears. It just so happens that people who stutter have a concern, challenge, and fear that the rest of us can plainly see. I thought about how I have concerns and challenges and fears just like them, but unlike theirs, I can hide mine. I can keep them in my heart locked away from the criticism of others. I can guard them from those who wouldn't understand.

My heart broke for these courageous, determined, brilliant individuals who are classified as a "stutterer." At the end of the video, these individuals who stutter stated how grateful they were to be faced with this challenge. It has taught them how to love everyone, how to be confident in who they are, how to work hard towards any goal. But most importantly, they spoke of how they have learned to live their lives with courage and not fear.

It was an amazing experience for me. I am up here at school alone. I don't know many people at all and the few I do know, I met this week. I feel quite out of my "comfort zone" up here! However, I DO know what homesickness feels like. I DO know what coming home to an empty apartment feels like. I DO know what fear feels like when I know I have to go meet new people. Come to think of it, there are things that we would rather not have to do on a daily basis no matter what stage of life we are in. But like these people who stutter, we have a daily choice: to live our life in fear or to tackle life with courage.

I have really tried to be courageous so far, but now I have an even greater desire to be courageous. If people who stutter can do it, I have no excuse! I am so grateful for the many lessons we learn throughout the day! I am grateful that my professor had us go out and do this assignment. I am grateful that the Holy Ghost can testify of all truths - not only things we learn in church. I am grateful that he spoke to my mind today and reminded me of the worth of every single soul no matter what their challenges may be. And more importantly, I am so deeply grateful that our Heavenly Father finds ways to let me know DAILY that He hears my prayers and knows my concerns even if no one else does. Not only does He hear them, He answers them - in this case, with examples of courage from His precious children who stutter. I know that Heavenly Father lives and loves each of us and we are His children! I hope you do too!